Are you thinking of having Sex for the first time?

Here's some stuff I think that you should know if you are thinking about having sex for the fist time.

If you don't masturbate regularly now would be a good time to start. Masturbation teaches you about your own body and the sensations that come from sexual arousal – it's free, good for you and better than watching the T.V. any day – read what I have to say about masturbation in my blog on masturbation called Solo Sex.

If it's the first time for both of you and you do masturbate then you can have fun showing each other what gets you going. Remember sex is one of those things where the more you pay attention to your partner and what makes them feel good, the more you'll enjoy it, because they will be doing the same thing. It don't matter how old you are, the first few time you have sex with someone new, you have to learn about how to make love to them and that takes time.

Talk to someone you trust who is already having sex and is cool about talking about it (like me :-). Ask them about their first time – what was good about it what would they have done differently. Some people talk to their parents about it and that is a really good idea, but not everyone has parents who are up for a “first time sex” chat, so don't be put off talking to someone else.

Think about having sex without intercourse first. A lot of people's first sexual experience is not having intercourse and this is a good thing. Start by getting naked slowly and touching each other all over. Talk to each other while you are doing it – find out what your partner likes. Ask questions - “would you like me to stroke your legs” or “more gently?”. If you feel brave enough make requests: “can you kiss my breasts gently” or “shall I show you what I really like”. You probably won't really know what you like, so just make stuff up and try it out like: “I want to see what it's like if you kiss my back”.

Don't forget you can kiss as well as use your hands and other parts of your body to touch and turn on your partner. Take it slowly and don't go for the genitals straight away.

If you feel uncomfortable with your partner touching in a particular place or way, then try picking up their hand and moving it somewhere else and saying something like “I'd really like you to touch me here, like this at the moment”. Keep talking and watch your partner's reaction – be prepared to back off and possibly stop all together. If you only feel comfortable going beyond a certain point then that is fine, but it's really important that you let your partner know as soon as you do or they won't know to stop. It can be quite difficult to stop in mid flow especially when you are very turned on. If you want to stop and your partner doesn't and you like the idea of watching them masturbate then take their hand and place it on their genitals and say some thing like “show me how you do it when you are on your own – I'd really like that – I just want to stop now!”.

• Be reassuring and it will reassure you.
• Choose a safe place
• You need to trust your partner.
• You don't have to have an orgasm.

Also, if you are going all of the way you will need condoms. If you are a fella (or a girl in fact) practice using your condoms – you can practice on yourself or an object that is penis sized. Penis sized with an erection :-).

Getting the right size condoms. Fellas, getting the right size condoms for your penis is important. If a condom is too tight, it will be uncomfortable and you won't enjoy making love. If it is too large then it may not be as effective – it might come off.