Putting a Condom On
I always think that it’s more fun to put a condom on someone else than it is for them to do it, and this is how you do it …
p.s. If you haven’t done this before (putting a condom on) then the time to learn how is NOT in the middle of a romantic moment – Condom Girl suggests practising on a penis sized and shaped object.
Erection – you need an erect penis before you put on your condom. Condoms should only be rolled onto an erect penis, and this should happen before you dive into any genital, anal or oral contact.
Damage – make sure that the foil packaging has not been subjected to wear and tear and has not been damaged by fingernails or any other sharp objects in anyway. One sign of damage can be the escape of lubricant (on lubricated Condoms), so if the foil feels slippery make sure that the foil is intact. Condom Girl says do not use a damaged condom.
Expiry date – every condom packet will have an expiry date, make sure that your condom is well within its expiry date. Condom Girl says do not use a condom outside its expiry date.
Tear open – tear open the airtight wrapping in the middle or at the notch. Be careful to make sure that you do not damage the condom with sharp nails or any other sharp objects (teeth for example).
Right way up – make sure that the condom is the right way up examine the part of your condom that unrolls, if the roll is on the outside then it it the right way up, you should be able to see that it will unroll onto your ready and now quite impatient erect penis.
Be gentle – gently draw back the foreskin of your erect penis first.
Squeeze – squeeze the tip of your condom between thumb and forefinger to expel air from tip of condom – a space should be left at the end of the condom to collect semen after ejaculation. (Some condoms have a nipple or teat shaped reservoir at the end of the condom for this purpose.)
Lubricant – if you need to use some extra lubricant make sure that it is water based if your condom is made of latex.
Unrolling – holding the tip of your condom between your thumb and forefinger, use the other hand to roll the condom carefully down over the whole length of the penis. If you accidentally try to put the condom on backwards and it won’t unroll, you will need to throw it away and use a new condom. The clear pre-ejaculate fluid on the end of the penis contains sperm and can carry infections; once a condom has touched the penis you can not safely turn it over.
Best bit – now you’re ready to put that penis somewhere nice – Condom Girl doesn’t have any suggestion here, but checkout the website for some ideas.
Intercourse – during intercourse (or sex as Condom Girl likes to call it) it is advisable to change a condom if you are moving from anal to any other type of intercourse.
Ejaculation – after ejaculation has occurred the semen should stay entirely inside the condom. Hold the rim (or bead) of the condom to the base of the penis and withdraw.10) You must discard the condom in the dustbin/garbage bin not in the toilet or bidet. If you put the condom in the toilet it is likely to come back to haunt you and it is definitely going to pollute the system.
Shrinkage – the penis should be withdrawn before the loss of erection not afterwards when the seal of condom to penis might fail.
Remember, tie a knot – as soon as the penis has been withdrawn, remove the condom from the penis and tie the end. Remember only use a condom once!
Rubbish – you must discard the condom in the dustbin or garbage bin not in the toilet. If you put the condom in the toilet it is likely to come back to haunt you and it is definitely going to pollute the system.
Now wash your hands – now wash your hands.